My Day As A Shill

Well, my apologies to you, my adoring public, for being so sporatic of late, I guess I,m just a few days a week kind of guy to start. But I have had many adventures funding gainful employment in this uncaring world. This is one of those stories:
You have to know something is up when the warehouse shipping position you have applied for becomes a "sales management in training" in the interview, and every other detail is vague. Now, I'm not asking to many questions, because I'm not trying to rock the boat here. I'm just looking for a stable position while I take a few digital photography classes and get my own photo-thang off the ground.So when I'm told that my second interview will be an "all day observation session" I say okay, because I'm open to all options. But my spider sensed are tingling because all I am hearing about is sales marketing, and I was just trying to get a shipping job, which is what the ad was indicating. I arrive at their office to find I am not the only one "observing". We are told that they are only looking for one person, so the end of the day will "kinda be like Survivor, ya know..." I am at that time handed a contract stating that this is observation only, and I won't be paid for it. Well, the contract took a little longer and more flowery way of telling me this, but I got the gist. Red flags are flying. Then they pack the other person in a car and off they go, I knew not where. I still don't know what I am to be observing. Then I am introduced to my "observer/interviewers", packed into an old LeSabre and off we went. I ask,"Any particular place that we're heading", and the reply I receive is:"I just like to go down the freeway until I find a good spot." Uh-oh. But it truly sunk in when we stopped by a convinience store to get gas. My man the "observer", pops the trunk to reveal a bunch of stuff, including a barbeque apron outfitted with related cooking tools, which he proccedes to strap on to his shirt and plows into the gas station to make a sales pitch! Now the light dawns! I'm riding with traveling salesmen! Off we drive until we get to the next cowtown, 60 miles north of home, and I spend the next six hours following these guys around as they go from business to business, door to door, hocking their wares. 95% or more of these places have "No Soliciting" signs on the door, but these pros won't be deterred. We even wandered the halls of the county courthouse, rebuffed all the while, and in some cases informed in no uncertain terms that what we are doing is not allowed here. Well, no kidding. As we go I'm being fed tips to reel in the fish, which to the best of my own observation, was only working 25% of the time. By the end of the day, I have cracked the code. These guys get more money, the more people they get to work for them doing what they are doing. Whatever shape they tried to make it, it still looked like a pyramid scheme to me. So I spent my day, following along, smiling and nodding, and listened as they cheerfully offered me the position, after which I said I would get back to them and then ran for the horizon, never looking back. I guess I just don't have the personality for shilling, maybe I am destined to be "poor". But damn proud of it.